Dear C Section Mommas,
As C Section Awareness Month comes to a close, I wanted to give a word of encouragement to all you strong, brave women who made this decision – who chose life – for your precious little ones.
You gave birth to your baby. Can I say that again? YOU GAVE BIRTH TO YOUR BABY! I know it can be hard to believe this at times, but it’s the truth. As I said in my first post of this series, we brought forth life through submission. Submission takes incredible strength and courage! No, it’s not glamorous. It doesn’t make for a heroic-sounding story. It is so hard to accept the reality of what you did when unmedicated vaginal births are often glorified. Just because you didn’t push out a baby by sheer force of will with or without pain medication doesn’t make you any less strong, doesn’t make you any less of a mom. You made the first of many hard decisions by sheer force of will that motherhood will require of you – giving up what you want in favor of what is best for your child. It’s a rough reality, and you faced it, and you conquered it.
Let those who want to judge you come and go. Don’t allow their comments to unseat your peace. They don’t fully understand why you made this choice and are speaking from ignorance. Pray for them, and where appropriate (and not emotionally exhausting) admonish them. You know what you gave up, and you know why you did it, and it is both a burden and a joy that you carry. You were motivated out of the deepest love, and it cost a great deal. If others should choose to doubt you or question you or judge you, remember the truth of what you did.
Don’t be afraid to share your story with others. Don’t let your pain be a cause of shame. Don’t let it eat at you or cause you to become bitter. It is ok to feel cheated or angry, but don’t let those feelings end there. Crosses are not made to be borne alone. We all need a Simon of Cyrene. My hope is that any pain will one day turn into an opportunity to walk with others who suffer, will develop into an incredible capacity for compassion for others. A true gift. That outlook might take time, and that’s ok!
When you look down at your scar, I hope you feel pride. It’s something that not every woman gets to have, to see exactly where her babies entered the world. We can touch that scar and remember the pain and the joy. Our bodies forever carry a visible reminder of the price of giving life, which we share with someone else – Jesus Christ. When He appeared to His apostles after His death, His wounds were still there in His glorified body. Those scars identified Him for who He truly is, just as your scar does for you – a loving momma who gave your all for your baby. Love your scar!
When you see your baby, I hope you feel incomprehensible joy. That child is here because of your strength, because you made a hard choice, because you submitted. How beautiful will it be when you get to teach your child about the value of that kind of suffering because you have undergone it yourself. How beautiful will it be when you can teach your child that God’s will is always best even when His will seems unfair because you experienced a trial of doubt. You are made over into a more perfect mother because of your pain and submission.
Having a C Section, planned or unplanned, takes a woman of great strength, great bravery, great faith and great love. That woman is you. Don’t ever forget it!
With love and solidarity,
A C Section Momma